Still A Shoestring

I will be the first to confess that I am for the most part a horrible person: I laugh at inappropriate moments, I am sarcastic and I make grown men cry. I have a hard time feeling good about other people’s accomplishments. For example, when someone gets a promotion, sadly, most of the time while I am outwardly going, “you are awesome! I knew you could do it! Completely deserved, my friend!”, my internal monologue is going, “why didn’t I get a promotion? Because you aren’t in finance you weirdo! But I am awesome too. Is my lack of a promotion mean I am not as awesome? How is she 25 at in her position? How can I get there? Why am I not there yet?” So on an so forth. Life in my head is rather exhausting. I try to not spend too much time in it.

So when my sister announced that she bought herself a new bag, not just any new bag mind you but the new Givenchy Nightingale bag. The one that has been seen on these celebs below:

And cost, at full price, a cool $1815 I just about died. Do you know what I bought lately, my dears? Two new tires from Discount Tire. I also spent $600 extending my conditional green card with the United States of Citizenship and Immigration Services. Looking through the tour of Frances Kwon’s Manhattan apartment makes me similarly sick with envy. How does a 25 year old manage to afford two Celine bags and two Chanel bags? I would be lucky if in my lifetime I would be able to afford just the one Chanel bag. Said Chanel bag would probably be framed in a large shadow box. Above my bed with an accompanying shrine below it.

I wish I could say the comparison game stops at just purses but no, I like a good competitive Asian like to apply it to all aspects of my life. Why did she get that promotion but not me? How is she 24 with a phd? Why am I nearly 30 and not have a house yet so I can blog about renovating with my own bare two hands even though I can barely change a light bulb? It is a weird sickness. So let’s slow down a minute and enjoy the journey. I might not have money to buy a Givenchy bag yet but I do have three beautiful bags (JCrew, Tylie Malibu and Ann Taylor thanksverymuch!). I might not have a promotion yet but I have a great team who appreciates me and a job I love and challenges me. Nothing wrong with being competitive and setting goals but definitely nothing wrong with what I have right now either!

What are you thankful for lately? Do you also suffer from “I-want-one-just-because-you-have-one” sickness as well? How do you stay sane?

Devin Kirk in Elle Decor

I would like to say I subscribed to Elle Decor because I got an insanely good deal: $5 for a year. Yeah, I was pretty stoked. Now, not that I don’t love Elle Decor, because I do but let’s be honest, they aren’t really geared towards newly wedded, broke, cheap-ass thrifty adults in their late 20s. I am okay with that, I am not their demographic. After all, the fact that I subscribe to them because of a discount sort of proves it, non? However, this doesn’t mean I don’t get ridiculously stoked when they feature something that I wouldn’t mind actually living in. My opinion, this month’s Elle Decor is one of their best in a while.

My favorite feature was Devin Kirk of Jayson Home and Garden’s Chicago apartment. Oh Lordy, can I move in tomorrow? Nothing too precious or done. His kitchen table? CB2. His kitchen counters and bookshelf? Ikea.

Nothing says, “Don’t breath for heaven’s sake. You might disturb something”.

Pictures and sources from Elle Decor. What is your favorite home design magazine? Of course, like everyone else I adored Domino that Conde Nast is ever so briefly resurrecting just to tease us. It is quite obviously just a quick way for them to make money but I will be suckered into like every design fanatic out there. Pathetic really.

 

*Belated edit: Because I am an awesome person, although, the Elle Decor deal is no longer going on, they are however offering House Beautiful (among others) for $4.69! You can thank me by telling your friends and family how awesome my blog is. 😉

T-Rex Trying To Make Me Laugh

I am a little cranky this Monday. Apparently I filled out my W-4 with an extra dependant and so now I owe Uncle Sam money. I don’t make very much money to begin with.

I stumbled across T-Rex Trying on Dooce and its’ cute little illustrations of the King of Lizards trying at little things make me giggle. Here are my favorites.

 

Hope your day is going better than mine. If not, here is T-Rex trying to make you laugh! Happy Monday!

The Lazy Girls Guide To Wedding Decor

So, say you have this wedding. Weddings are awesome. There are many fabulous things about weddings. The dress! The invitations! The flowers! Oh, yes, the man.

Problem with weddings is… well, they are a sh*t ton of work. It is like a second job planning a wedding. Hell, for many others, it is a job. Never mind that you have to deal with great-aunt Mildred that won’t come to your wedding because it is in Mexico, and people get shot over there because of drugs and stuff and could you please change the venue to something more accommodating please, like, oh I don’t know, the chapel down the road from her.

You would like decorations. You would rather not spend a million dollars on flowers and your DIY projects look like a five-year-old made it. What is a girl to do? Go to your nearest J Crew or Anthropologie store and ask them if they would be willing to give you their window displays when they are done. Dead serious. J Crew has some fantastic ones in their window right now in a beautiful aquamarine and coral. They kind of look like this.

of course, if you would like to go ahead and make them yourself, the instructions are right here.

Magic Carpet Ride

I love hearing interior designers who say “a rug is such a great affordable way to change up your look!” I want to know where they are shopping because obviously that is where I need to be!

Right now my couch is white, my wall is white, my rental wall-to-wall carpet is beige.  I have a french secretary that is red and a teal Bergere chair. I need a carpet and a couple of throw pillows (my husband is cringing) so my place doesn’t look like (a) I just moved in (b) like I furnished my place entirely from Craigslist, Ebay, and thrift stores (which I did).

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Look at the room up top! Same room, one with a rug one without a rug. What a difference it makes.

I would love that tribally colorful rug like the one above but I think its a little too, um, boom-boom-pow for me. So I think a rug that is a little bit graphic for interest but not enough to go “Look! I am a rug! Over here! On the floor!”

So far my short list:

Crate and Barrel’s Olin in black and white. (I also noticed they have it in grey and brown!)

 I am using this picture of Lauren Gold’s apartment as inspiration

Some pretty classic pieces with that black and white rug punch. Her current apartment is just as beautiful:

The second picture is from Lonny. The first picture is from A Perfect Gray.

I also love the Bogart flat weave from Garnet Hill. I think in a steel grey this would be lovely. It sort of reminds me of a Madeline Weinrib rug, maybe if you tilt your head and squint?

The gradient stripe rug from West Elm also in grey.

I have also heard some good things about Overstock.com ‘s rug selection but I haven’t seen anything that jumps out at me. Anyone got any suggestions for some cheap good looking rugs out there?

Wait, I forget, do we celebrate Valentine’s Day, again?

This is a common question between the husband and I as Valentine’s Day approaches. Neither one of us wants to the “that-spouse-who-doesn’t-want-to-celebrate-the-day-of-lurve” even though, I think, we both secretly think St. Valentine’s Day is a pot of crock. We have been together 5 years and we still have yet to figure it out.

There is that scene in Sex And The City: The Movie (the first one. The only one worth watching!) where Miranda and Carrie are celebrating Valentine’s together at a restaurant. The server assumes they are an LGBT couple, the restaurant is filled with helium balloons with ribbons floating down. Miranda asks “Is it me or is Valentine’s Day on steriods this year?” and Carrie Bradshaw replies, “No, it’s the same. We just played for the other team”. The day really is a Singlehood Awareness Day. Sure, when I was single the girls and I dress up, go on the night on the town but more as a “f*ck you!” to the world at large who thinks we need a man to be whole than to really celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Besides, it is just an awkward celebration. Single people are made all the more aware they are single and therefore are lacking “someone”. Married people are awkward because quite frankly we don’t know if we should celebrate it. We are grown after all, no longer in middle school where how many roses you get dictates sets your social status. Does anyone really celebrate V-day aside from new lovers and children? C’mon you can tell me, I won’t judge 😉

 

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Back On The Wagon, Wait, I Have Never Been On This Wagon

I started running Wednesday in my attempt to gear up for the 5K I am planning on running this year. It was a mild Texas winter day so I figured I would run outside. This, I discovered was a bad idea. Aside, of course, from the fact that I am starting off my exercise regime on the actual pavement which is rougher on your body (apparently, everyone knows this but yours truly) every car passing by on the road can see me huffing and puffing like a fat kid. Is it possible for every inch of my body to jiggle in what feels like 12 different directions? On Monday, I found out “why yes, yes it is indeed possible”.

Thursday I went to the gym around dinner time to avoid the after work crowd. I discovered two things:

One: It is true. Walking-jogging-running is easier on a treadmill.

Two: I have a mild phobia of treadmills the same way small kids have a small phobia of escalators.

I keep have vivid imaginings (while on the treadmill, mind you) of tripping on my feet and smacking my face on the dash. Or trying to get off the treadmill and missing the 2 inches of space on the side and falling on my ass while the machine is still running and then it might eat me. Or my pants getting caught on the running tape and being sucked in.

Please tell me I am not weird.

 

Just Say No To Neon

 

It is entirely possible I am the only one in the known fashion universe currently not enamoured with the neon trend that is spreading across the runways like like a bad acid trip. I think me in neon will look like a wannabe Brooklyn girl in the 80s but not that cool.

Michael Kors, the 80s called and their want their neon back. Along with the Jesus strappy sandals and the zebra-tranny fabulous. I maybe might take the pants. Maybe.

 

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An Open Letter To Sony

Dear Sony,

I am very disappointed in you. My husband bought this beautiful Cybershot DSC-T70 for my birthday a couple of years ago. Now, you may not know this, but my husband isn’t the best gift giver in the world. I love him more than I love chocolate pie and iced tea on a summer day but bless his heart, the boy needs help in the gift department. In fact, just this evening, I told him, “Honey, peonies are in season. Whole Foods are carrying them. Right. Now.” The Christmas before last? He bought me a candle. The Christmas before that? He got me a gift card. A candle. A gift card. Now, you are probably a guy and you don’t understand what so bad about candles and gift cards. “But Jesselyn”, you say, “you love candles! You burn them like your Buddhist worshiping ancestors except for no real reason than you like your loft in your downtown concrete jungle smelling like a English country garden. And a gift card! So you can get what you really want!” So like a man, to not understand that candles and gift cards are for people who don’t know you well. They are the gifts you bring to that Christmas party hosted by those people you speak to twice a year but nevertheless feel obligated to attend because they once saw you high at the after hours Christmas party. All that to say, a slick, beautiful point and shoot camera that is top of the line? I mean, the man got lucky for a good six-months. At least.

Now, lets fast forward a couple of years. Honestly, its still beautiful. In fact, if you weren’t a gadget freak, you could not even tell that my beloved camera is a couple of years old which in camera years is probably something like 27 years old. Slightly thinner than a paperback novel, the touch screen is modern and techie enough that when I asked my father to take some pictures with it he could not figure it out but easy enough to use that this girl who doesn’t even have a smart phone can figure out. So what is the problem? My camera can’t focus. Not only does it not focus but when I turn it on, it starts vibrating and shaking like the dumb phone I have (Don’t knock it. Its about as old as this camera and still works like a charm, thankyouverymuch).

I look up my camera on the internet. Whaddaya know? Apparently, everyone and their goldfish is having the same problem. I decide, “You know what? I bet Sony can help me”. I call up customer service and I should have just saved my minutes. Not only will you not acknowledge there was an issue with this particular model but you deny that there is any documented issue with it at all.

“No ma’am,” the very polite (but dense) girl from customer service tells me, “I am afraid there is no reported problem with your model at all”.

“Really?” I say, “because it so happens that I am looking at the reviews of this camera on your very website and everyone is saying the same thing.”

“I can’t find the page you are referencing, ma’am. However, you may send in your camera to be repaired for $128”.

Uh-huh. So for half the cost of a new camera, I can fix my old one which, according to reviews even after fixing, will stop shaking like me deprived of Dr Pepper for 24 hours but never actually focuses well again. What a joke. You want to know why your stocks are down? It is the little things. First creating a great quality product. It is about creating customer loyalty and through that developing a brand people are passionate about (Mac-heads? Dyson-harts?).

Get your shit together Sony.

Regards,

Jesselyn, a former-and-never-again-Sony-customer

Changes

Its two thousand twelve and on the fourth day of this year, my real-job company (my husband always says I have a billion non-jobs on the side) got acquired. Yes, it is every bit as scary as it sounds. I am every bit as scared as a person in my position would normally be. In fact, I think I am more scared. I blame it on my hormones. I melted down on my boss over the phone. I went to my friend’s office and closed the door and cried.

“I have no idea why you are crying,” she said matter-of-factly while chomping on her lunch.

“Because it is scary dammit. . . and because I am on my period and I am emotional. Get over it,” I snapped.

Now, this is a procurement for growth. My new company grows primarily through company acquisition and in that they don’t intend to change much while changing a lot. I still have my job and in fact, I got my packet that included my offer letter by the end of the day when they announced the acquisition. There is a lot of great and exciting things I am tentatively optimistic about. My new company has a generous 401K match. Since I have been putting money away in my 401K since working because I think even in your mid-twenties, you need to be thinking about retirement (but that is a post for another time), this is relevant and beneficial for me. Chances are their benefits package is better than my small mid-size company because they are able to negotiate more with insurance providers. They are a bigger company so there are more ladders to climb, more goals for me to reach for.

On the other hand. I hate change. Despise it. My anxiety over my where my new position is in the company, what my new team is going to look like, whether I am going to get lost in a new company over-rides any excitement I may have. I hate that I don’t know whats going on from moment to moment day to day. I hate that I don’t know what my career is going to look like a month from now. I loved my team. I love my boss. I really don’t appreciate being signed up for a roller-coaster ride without being asked if I would even be remotely interested. Do people ever ask though?

So here is to the new year and what might bring. I am scared. Are you?