I will be the first to confess that I am for the most part a horrible person: I laugh at inappropriate moments, I am sarcastic and I make grown men cry. I have a hard time feeling good about other people’s accomplishments. For example, when someone gets a promotion, sadly, most of the time while I am outwardly going, “you are awesome! I knew you could do it! Completely deserved, my friend!”, my internal monologue is going, “why didn’t I get a promotion? Because you aren’t in finance you weirdo! But I am awesome too. Is my lack of a promotion mean I am not as awesome? How is she 25 at in her position? How can I get there? Why am I not there yet?” So on an so forth. Life in my head is rather exhausting. I try to not spend too much time in it.
So when my sister announced that she bought herself a new bag, not just any new bag mind you but the new Givenchy Nightingale bag. The one that has been seen on these celebs below:
And cost, at full price, a cool $1815 I just about died. Do you know what I bought lately, my dears? Two new tires from Discount Tire. I also spent $600 extending my conditional green card with the United States of Citizenship and Immigration Services. Looking through the tour of Frances Kwon’s Manhattan apartment makes me similarly sick with envy. How does a 25 year old manage to afford two Celine bags and two Chanel bags? I would be lucky if in my lifetime I would be able to afford just the one Chanel bag. Said Chanel bag would probably be framed in a large shadow box. Above my bed with an accompanying shrine below it.
I wish I could say the comparison game stops at just purses but no, I like a good competitive Asian like to apply it to all aspects of my life. Why did she get that promotion but not me? How is she 24 with a phd? Why am I nearly 30 and not have a house yet so I can blog about renovating with my own bare two hands even though I can barely change a light bulb? It is a weird sickness. So let’s slow down a minute and enjoy the journey. I might not have money to buy a Givenchy bag yet but I do have three beautiful bags (JCrew, Tylie Malibu and Ann Taylor thanksverymuch!). I might not have a promotion yet but I have a great team who appreciates me and a job I love and challenges me. Nothing wrong with being competitive and setting goals but definitely nothing wrong with what I have right now either!
What are you thankful for lately? Do you also suffer from “I-want-one-just-because-you-have-one” sickness as well? How do you stay sane?