The Lazy Girls Guide To Wedding Decor

So, say you have this wedding. Weddings are awesome. There are many fabulous things about weddings. The dress! The invitations! The flowers! Oh, yes, the man.

Problem with weddings is… well, they are a sh*t ton of work. It is like a second job planning a wedding. Hell, for many others, it is a job. Never mind that you have to deal with great-aunt Mildred that won’t come to your wedding because it is in Mexico, and people get shot over there because of drugs and stuff and could you please change the venue to something more accommodating please, like, oh I don’t know, the chapel down the road from her.

You would like decorations. You would rather not spend a million dollars on flowers and your DIY projects look like a five-year-old made it. What is a girl to do? Go to your nearest J Crew or Anthropologie store and ask them if they would be willing to give you their window displays when they are done. Dead serious. J Crew has some fantastic ones in their window right now in a beautiful aquamarine and coral. They kind of look like this.

of course, if you would like to go ahead and make them yourself, the instructions are right here.

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You Are Allowed To Freak Out

This should more accurately be in my wedding blog. I might copy and paste it over there when I am done depending on how I feel.

Let me give you some background about me. I will ask you to hold off all smirking and laughing behind my back until after I am done. I am a Deltasig. I am not just any Deltasig, I was their VP of Pledge Education. I don’t know how it works with your organizations but in mine, it means I was one of the top three officers in our particular chapter. Yeah, I was important. In fact, most would attest to the fact that I was their best VP Pledge Educator in quite a while. I am tooting my own horn for a minute because next to the President’s job, the Pledge Educator’s job is one of the most trying. Aside from ridiculous amounts of paperwork, you also get to play disciplinarian, therapist, referee, teacher, mother, to a group of boys and girls (we are co-ed) some of whom were older than you but acted like adolescents. Oh and you were their event planner. Everything from fund-raising to large scale parties.

When I got engaged I was thinking, “Okay, this is a piece of cake. I have organized parties for Deltasig on a much larger scale than this”. Seriously, you want bouncy houses? Done. You need a caterer for 100? In my sleep. The wedding, needless to say, knocked me on my ass. There is just something about the combination of family and friends, stress about wedding culminating with the stress of real life, pressure from the wedding industry and implied pressure from wedding blogs that just makes for disaster in a pot.

So, I completely understand when brides tells me they had a meltdown over something ridiculous because I know what that is like. It’s like my wedding. I vehemently argue that brides have the right to a meltdown once in a while. Why? Because bridal meltdowns have become like the rest of the wedding industry. It seems like you can only be either or. You can either have a traditional white wedding or you can have an indie wedding with”personality” and Converse shoes. You can either be a bridezilla or a cool bride. Thus, normal, sane women become very set on being calm, cool, collected. Narry a hair out of place, or a hormone out of whack.

Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty sure there are some brides out there who never lose their cool, whose wedding goes exactly the way they want it to, when things go wrong they just shrug. However, for the rest of the population, I think it’s okay to lose your cool once in a while. Why? Because there is not a single event next to a wedding that you are apparently suppose to plan and juggle (with the greatest of ease) and never freak out about. When I was VP Pledge Ed, I had my share of “moments” and no one thought I was crazy, irrational, or silly even though said events or moments might be small on the grand scale of things.

I don’t want you to get me wrong. I am by no means telling you that it is okay to rail at friends and family members for not doing exactly what you want and throw a tantrum when things don’t go your way. I am saying you should cut yourself some slack and above all don’t lose your sense of humour. I wigged out at my parents over something silly and I called them the next day (when I could think about it and not cringe over the memory of my idiocy) and apologized for my behavior. They were very forgiving as only parents can be. That didn’t neccesarily mean I was a bridezilla. I was just human. And happen to be PMS-ing at the time but that isn’t important.

A wedding is stressful. You are allowed to have a meltdown. And be a little crazy. Just as long as you remember to pick yourself up and shake it off. Oh, and if anyone was hurt in the process, apologize. Believe me, if they are important to you as you are to them, they will understand. If not, maybe you might need to rethink your relationship.

 

Picture from here

Weddings: So Over It

Truth be told, walking away from the Shoestring Bride was really hard.

This was how I came to the decision (which is really how I come to most of my decisions actually):

– Talked briefly to a friend about no longer blogging about weddings. (usually a friend who thinks in the exact same way I do. So they usually agree with me. Weird, right, that people usually agree with me?)

– Think about my decision for a while. Cory calls this stewing. I call it pondering. My dad calls this fretting.

– Lay awake at night listening to Cory’s heavy breathing willing myself to fall asleep

– I decided then and there at sometime around 4 o’clock at night, kicked my blankets off, and typed my decision to end the blog and suddenly the world seems to fit again. The jagged edges have not quite faded away just yet but it does feel better.

 I never went into the details of my decision because of the overwhelming guilt that my readers would know I what I am: a hypocrite of the highest order (I think they might have already guess that but nevertheless, I wanted to stay coccooned in my little world).

The moment the wedding was over and the giddiness of the event was past, it was like the blinds from my eyes were drawn. The stewing, fretting, the stressing seemed so… pathetic and I didn’t like thinking I was pathetic. In fact, the only thing about the wedding I did not regret was my dress, my planner, my girls and my man. Everything else seems so inconsequential now. 

Don’t get me wrong, my flowers were gorgeous. The invitations looked almost exactly how I wanted it to look. The decorations were chic and simple. In end, I realized that it didn’t matter. It all really did not matter. However, I also knew that if I did not stress, if I did not worry, if I did not stew I probably would be kicking myself right now.

So, why am I not blogging about weddings anymore? Because I am so over it. You do not need to be told this. I don’t have to spell it out for you. You are a smart girl. You will have regrets about your weddings. Pictures you wish you had, the food was cold, or your mother-in-law’s breasts fell out when she was getting down on the dance floor. However, I can also guarantee that when it is all over, you will have the same ephiphany I did. It all doesn’t matter.

I may just be burned out but for right now, it pays to remember what matters to you in the end and believe me, it ain’t the invitations.

 

Picture from Steven Steinhardt Wedding Photography