Just Say No To Neon


It is entirely possible I am the only one in the known fashion universe currently not enamoured with the neon trend that is spreading across the runways like like a bad acid trip. I think me in neon will look like a wannabe Brooklyn girl in the 80s but not that cool.

Michael Kors, the 80s called and their want their neon back. Along with the Jesus strappy sandals and the zebra-tranny fabulous. I maybe might take the pants. Maybe.




An Open Letter To Sony

Dear Sony,

I am very disappointed in you. My husband bought this beautiful Cybershot DSC-T70 for my birthday a couple of years ago. Now, you may not know this, but my husband isn’t the best gift giver in the world. I love him more than I love chocolate pie and iced tea on a summer day but bless his heart, the boy needs help in the gift department. In fact, just this evening, I told him, “Honey, peonies are in season. Whole Foods are carrying them. Right. Now.” The Christmas before last? He bought me a candle. The Christmas before that? He got me a gift card. A candle. A gift card. Now, you are probably a guy and you don’t understand what so bad about candles and gift cards. “But Jesselyn”, you say, “you love candles! You burn them like your Buddhist worshiping ancestors except for no real reason than you like your loft in your downtown concrete jungle smelling like a English country garden. And a gift card! So you can get what you really want!” So like a man, to not understand that candles and gift cards are for people who don’t know you well. They are the gifts you bring to that Christmas party hosted by those people you speak to twice a year but nevertheless feel obligated to attend because they once saw you high at the after hours Christmas party. All that to say, a slick, beautiful point and shoot camera that is top of the line? I mean, the man got lucky for a good six-months. At least.

Now, lets fast forward a couple of years. Honestly, its still beautiful. In fact, if you weren’t a gadget freak, you could not even tell that my beloved camera is a couple of years old which in camera years is probably something like 27 years old. Slightly thinner than a paperback novel, the touch screen is modern and techie enough that when I asked my father to take some pictures with it he could not figure it out but easy enough to use that this girl who doesn’t even have a smart phone can figure out. So what is the problem? My camera can’t focus. Not only does it not focus but when I turn it on, it starts vibrating and shaking like the dumb phone I have (Don’t knock it. Its about as old as this camera and still works like a charm, thankyouverymuch).

I look up my camera on the internet. Whaddaya know? Apparently, everyone and their goldfish is having the same problem. I decide, “You know what? I bet Sony can help me”. I call up customer service and I should have just saved my minutes. Not only will you not acknowledge there was an issue with this particular model but you deny that there is any documented issue with it at all.

“No ma’am,” the very polite (but dense) girl from customer service tells me, “I am afraid there is no reported problem with your model at all”.

“Really?” I say, “because it so happens that I am looking at the reviews of this camera on your very website and everyone is saying the same thing.”

“I can’t find the page you are referencing, ma’am. However, you may send in your camera to be repaired for $128”.

Uh-huh. So for half the cost of a new camera, I can fix my old one which, according to reviews even after fixing, will stop shaking like me deprived of Dr Pepper for 24 hours but never actually focuses well again. What a joke. You want to know why your stocks are down? It is the little things. First creating a great quality product. It is about creating customer loyalty and through that developing a brand people are passionate about (Mac-heads? Dyson-harts?).

Get your shit together Sony.


Jesselyn, a former-and-never-again-Sony-customer


Its two thousand twelve and on the fourth day of this year, my real-job company (my husband always says I have a billion non-jobs on the side) got acquired. Yes, it is every bit as scary as it sounds. I am every bit as scared as a person in my position would normally be. In fact, I think I am more scared. I blame it on my hormones. I melted down on my boss over the phone. I went to my friend’s office and closed the door and cried.

“I have no idea why you are crying,” she said matter-of-factly while chomping on her lunch.

“Because it is scary dammit. . . and because I am on my period and I am emotional. Get over it,” I snapped.

Now, this is a procurement for growth. My new company grows primarily through company acquisition and in that they don’t intend to change much while changing a lot. I still have my job and in fact, I got my packet that included my offer letter by the end of the day when they announced the acquisition. There is a lot of great and exciting things I am tentatively optimistic about. My new company has a generous 401K match. Since I have been putting money away in my 401K since working because I think even in your mid-twenties, you need to be thinking about retirement (but that is a post for another time), this is relevant and beneficial for me. Chances are their benefits package is better than my small mid-size company because they are able to negotiate more with insurance providers. They are a bigger company so there are more ladders to climb, more goals for me to reach for.

On the other hand. I hate change. Despise it. My anxiety over my where my new position is in the company, what my new team is going to look like, whether I am going to get lost in a new company over-rides any excitement I may have. I hate that I don’t know whats going on from moment to moment day to day. I hate that I don’t know what my career is going to look like a month from now. I loved my team. I love my boss. I really don’t appreciate being signed up for a roller-coaster ride without being asked if I would even be remotely interested. Do people ever ask though?

So here is to the new year and what might bring. I am scared. Are you?


You Are No One Till You Have Someone

You know what I hate? When people tell me things like “oh, you are so happy in your marriage now, wait till you have kids!”

Or when you buy $100 jeans (who me?) and someone goes, “wait till you have children, you can’t spend money on jeans like that again!”

Granted, I don’t think people realize how exactly that comes off to un-babied folks just like shit like, “You need to get married! You need a boyfriend! Love is wonderful! It makes the world goes round” just comes tumbling out of my mouth. As if you say, “You are not complete by yourself!”

Smack me someone.

Still, do people with children got to be quite so superior?


I am a particularly lucky duck. Today I am thankful for:

1) My new jeans that make my legs look a mile long -Sadly I actually bought them months ago and they were too long for my 5 ft 1.75 inch (at my height every little bit counts!) frame. So they sat in my car waiting to be taken to the drycleaner/alterations place for months. Yes, you read that right: months. I am a professional procrastinator y’all. I love how a great fitting pair of jeans makes you feel.

2) My presents are bought and wrapped in shades of gold, silver and red. Finally, something I didn’t procrastinate on this year! I have a job and I was able to indulge the people I love with small gifts and things. I am grateful indeed! In the interest of full disclosure, this is not my wrapping. Though I wish it was. My wrapping is obsessive and beautiful but not this beautiful!


3) It is 4 more sleeps till I go on vacation, 9 sleeps till Christmas. Going to school whilst going to work takes a toll on you. This semester I only took one class I can honestly say I don’t know how better people than I work full time and go to school full time. I am exhausted. The long weekend I took for Thanksgiving was not enough by half.

What are you thanking your lucky stars for this Friday?

The Red-Headed Stepchild

There are very many benefits to being Asian. For example, in my experience, boys love the Asian. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know but I sure ain’t complaining! Something about porn videos stereotyping all asian women as kinky petite sex goddess? (I can hardly wait to see all the google searches that direct sleazy lads over to my innocent little blog!) Maybe because Asian women are suppose to be sweet and subservient (Hah! Oh the wool pulling over collective male eyes!) Who knows?!

What I do regret about being asian? The adventures in haircolor I feel like I am missing out on! More to the point, I feel like I am a curly red-head stuck in a straight black haired head. Look at that beautiful head of hair! Maybe its time to dye it and screw all the nay-sayers. What do you think? A red headed Asian belongs in the strip club? Or exotic and unique? Or, “girl, with that acne of yours you are doing yourself no favors”?


Sometimes You Just Want To Be A Girl


Well. Unless you are a boy, then that would mean something completely different. However, this isn’t a post over controversial things (“Drat!” I hear you say, “I was really hoping for something to get my juices going. Nothing like an Internet argument to get all the pent up holiday resentment lanced out!)

Maybe because this Christmas instead of being in sparkly, festive Dallas, I will be in a small country town in bitterly cold Minnesota; I am craving girly prettiness. I want to buy a beautiful floaty dress. You know the kind I mean. The kind of dress that dances as you walk and floats when you dance. There is something about that kind of dress. It tickles the back of your knees, wraps around your wrists as you walk, swings even when you are stopped. That kind of dress needs an updo to show off your sparkly chandelier earrings your husband bought you for Christmas. The earrings brushes against your neck as you move. Of course, you can only wear sparkly heels for an occasion such as these. Something that taps against the marble floor and twinkles as you walk.