Craigslist “Don’t” List

I am a poor college student. By poor, I mean freaking destitute.

So, being a poor, destitute college student who wants to not sit on a sleeping bag for a couch, it comes as no surprise to many that my entire apartment is furnished by Craigslist, Ikea, and Ebay. In that order. I stalk Craigslist like my life depends on it and it is practically an act of God that my wedding dress did not come from Craigslist (not from the want of trying I can assure you).

I like to consider myself a Craigslist expert and here is what you should not do if you want to get your grandmother’s rocking chair with the orange pleather out from under this week’s laundry hidden away in the corner of your bedroom.

 

1. Do YoU SeE hOw IrRiTaTiNg ThIs Is? We are no longer in the sixth grade, my eyes do not need to go through a virtual stairstepper. In fact, I have absolutely no idea how you managed to type in that fashion without driving yourself stir crazy. That seven words is enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out.

 

2. For goodness sake, put up a freaking picture of your freaking monstrousity! Don’t ask me to “email you for pictures”. Why should I? There are plenty of other chairs/tables/consoles/dustballs/mismatched china for cheap to be had on the Interwebs. In this day and age where even my paperweight of a cellphone has a camera (with flash) on it, there is no good excuse for an ad without a picture. None. “I will post a picture up later” does not suffice. No matter of price, description, or witty remark will get me to bookmark your page thinking “oh, he is just busy, I will check back later”. If you don’t have a picture now, then post your stamp collection with it’s picture up later.

 

3. Price it right. No one really cares that the original price you paid for your Restoration Hardware Couch is $4000. Therefore, no one really thinks your asking price of $1000 is anywhere near sane. For $1000 I can buy nearly three couchs from Ikea (depending on the model), nearly one whole couch from Pottery Barn or Crate and Barrel, a whole couch from West Elm, and probably 10 other “like new” couches on Craigslist. “But it isn’t Restoration Hardware,” you whine. This is indeed true. However, no one who can afford a Restoration Hardware couch would be shopping on Craigslist. Just sayin’

 

4. Similarly, don’t put your price down as $1 on the title only to reveal you want $1000 for said Restoration Hardware couch. Some places I come from call it false advertising. This, I regret to inform you, is bad form. The only time a $1 priceline is forgiven is if you don’t know/don’t care what you get for it and are asking for people’s best offer. If you feel bad putting your asking price up where everyone can see at the get go, then chances are, it’s too much.

 

5. Writing your ad title as “@~@~@ Dining Set@~@~@” might get my attention. As just as quickily will throw you under category as “moron” or “sixteen-year-old-trying-to-sell-the-family-dining-set-so-he-can-get-his-fix”. Probably both. A couple astericks might be forgivable but a necklace of them spanning the page is just rude.

 

I have not even come to the buyer’s don’t list. That is coming up. I can assure you. I would have thought most of this is common sense and I am by no means one blessed with a whole lot of that (actually, my mother likes to point out that I have cow’s sense. I have no idea what that means or implies. I take it, it’s not good) but I think most of this is pretty simple. What is your Craigslist pet peeve?

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4 comments on “Craigslist “Don’t” List

  1. April says:

    i hate that $1 thing! I wont even check those posts anymore. I too am a bonafide second hand rose. The only things in my house that are first hand (and cost more than 50 bucks) are wedding gifts. Hell I even finished out my china set with second hand china.

  2. Kaliko says:

    Loved this. I don’t look at the $1 ads or the ads without a picture either. I also refuse to look at ads that say “LOOK AT THIS!!!” just out of principle.

  3. Kelly says:

    I have to say I agree with almost everything… except for the Restoration Hardware couch thing! (Which is how I found your blog). RH has very high quality furniture and I will totally buy it used for $1000 if I can- I can’t afford it new but used RH at the same cost as new (cheap) something else is well worth it to me 🙂

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