Nightmare

“I don’t want to be married anymore” Cory says to me.

He had gone out with a friend all day and just got back. I could hardly believe what I was hearing.

“What? But we just got married!” I exclaimed in horror. His face was impassive. My God, who is this man?

“I hate my life. I don’t want to work as a server anymore. I am thinking of moving out of Dallas. I hate this town. I hate being shackled to you. There is a girl I met today. She seems cool,” he started watching TV. I cannot believe this. He is tearing me apart and he is just calming watching television.

“I guess we are just going to have to get a divorce then,”I said numbly as I wonder who to call for help. Call Jessica, yes, she would know what to do. I can’t call anyone else. I don’t think I would be able to stand the smug looks at the failure of our marriage. We were supposedly the perfect couple. Everyone called us for relationship advice. Again, I cannot believe it.

I crawled over to him, “Is there anyway, I can get you to change your mind?” I begged, “We said we would never get a divorce.” He continued watching tv. It was like I didn’t even register. “Well, that was before,” he said. “Before? Before what?” I am so confused. “Before I realized I never wanted to get married. I thought I did. Now I realize I didn’t and never did. I just wanted the sex the continue.”

I took a shuddering breath. With every word, he carved out my insides and shredded my heart. The tears started pouring. If my cheeks could turn soggy with the amount of tears running down my face, I am sure it would have. I curled up into a ball as I just sobbed aloud not bothering to hold it in like I normally do because I hate crying and the weakness it represents. Cory was the first who allowed me to just cry without thought or judgement but it was over. I didn’t care who thought me weak now. It was all over.

And then I woke up.

I crawled over to the real Cory next to me and buried my head in his cheat and whined, “I dreamed you left me.” I gasped in relief. It was just a dream. Cory kissed me on the top of my head, “Why would I ever do that? I would never leave you.” He laughed softly. I never could understand why he could laugh after one of my dreams. I seldom got them anymore but I use to get them constantly when we first dated and then after we first got engaged. This was the first I had in months. I don’t understand why I have them but have nightmares about Cory leaving me I do.

Do you get nightmares?

Advertisements

5 comments on “Nightmare

  1. ruthy ann says:

    how awful!!! I haven’t had one of THOSE nightmares…i hope i never do! i’m so sorry…i hope you never have it again!

  2. Oh my, I saw the post but did not read the title and got crazy worried!

    Head kisses make everything better.

  3. I had a nightmare the other night and woke up crying in the middle of the night. I snuggled up to my husband and told him all about it and he stroked my hair until I calmed down and we went back to sleep.

  4. aroso says:

    when i found out that my bf cheated on me, I had these kind of nightmares for years. when i first found out, it was about once a week, then once a month…now i think its about twice a year.

    i suppose dreams reflect your insecurities that you have, some that you might not even know that you have.

    or if u had just watched a movie with a similar ‘storyline’ then u might have a dream about it.

    but dreams will only be dreams and it should stay there. u should never let your dream affect your emotions in the real world. i failed with that, because everytime i get a bad dream, it makes me more insecure.

  5. Josie says:

    I read that holding my breath. Am very glad it was just a dream. I wouldn’t worry too much about dreams. It sounds just like you’ver got something so wonderful and you’re worried you’ll lose it. Totally normal, don’t worry, just rejoice it’s all just a dream.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s