You Look Good

I was running around school today getting some errands done. The usual, dropping by the Chairman’s office to say hi, going by the advising office and to give a hug to my favorite advisor whom I had not seen in months. It’s what my friends and husband likes to call “making the rounds”.

As I gave Ms. Dukes a kiss-kiss on her cheeks she takes a step back and gives me the cursory up and down, “You look good!”. I stopped to look myself over, I could barely remember what I threw on this morning. Ah, a yellow linen tunic, skinny jeans, sandals, and a straw fedora on a haphazard rakish I-could-not-give-a-damn angle. I did look good. I am slightly surprised. Yellow isn’t necessarily my best color.

“You look healthy” Ms. Dukes explained. She pauses, “Happy.” I then took a readjustment of my emotional state. Holy shit, she is right. I felt good. Happy. Better, actually, than I had felt in a long, long time.

Anyone who has gone through depression. Not just the blues or the reds like Ms. Golightly terms it but an actual visit from Mr. Depression himself, will know that there are good days and bad weeks. Like an abused wife I almost appreciate my bad weeks for the euphoria that comes with a good day and today was a good day.

Hope blooms eternal in the spring I am convinced. Today, it seemed everything was going right. That my life is on track and my hopes are possible. I hope this feeling lasts forever. I have a meeting with a prestigious university tomorrow, Thursday I met with the Dean and my advisor. I am prepping myself for a potential interview, that today I am sure I will get.

I wish everyday was like this. I wish I remember that everyday can be this hopeful, beautiful, and wonderful in its’ simplicity.

 

Peonies are my favorite flowers and these are from Kari Herer

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3 comments on “You Look Good

  1. What a delicious feeling. I want to feel this feeling.

  2. ruthy ann says:

    so awesome to hear!!

  3. april says:

    i cant comprehend depression, for which I am thankful becuase iknow i am lucky. So I am happy that you have today as today and not on your bad weeks. Maybe rereading todays post will help? Its so beautiful.

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